on muted emotional gradience
To you with beating heart,
I feel what you feel, no matter your distance. In this ‘feeling’, I often know what you are going through emotionally. Sometimes I am forewarned about things happening in your life.
Forgive me for sharing this with you. I do it only to offer my support.
Sometimes when I am distant, it is because others emotions affect me too much. To minimize this, I control my exposure to the world. I’m not sure it helps.
Wanderer, Stranger, you’ve not seen me before and do not know me but still approach to tell a story. I listen and your heart deeply affects me. Sometimes I feel I need to take action. Often, I take too much action. Sometimes I laugh with you but more often than not you share things with me that cause weeping.
I know my ‘insights’ scare you, so, I am working to quiet my need to express and validate. Sometimes this leaves me in a torrent of emotions with no outlet. I can never truly know if I’m placing my imaginings on your realities. All I know is that the emotions that sometimes flow through me are not always mine.
In this post I briefly refer to abuse and the permanent changes made in the brain, more specifically, the prefrontal cortex. Depending on what ‘scholarly’ article(s) you read, you may come upon the word ‘scar’. Suggesting that abuse scars this part of the brain. I’m inclined to counter that life itself scars the brain, as life inherently brings a series of abuses, both internally and externally inflicted.
I’m proposing that if I agree with the article(s), that all of our brains are scarred and that we’re all walking Band-Aids.
The Empathic Sojourner