on 030491

Now fifteen.
Hidden in a wall, not to be seen.
Mummified from lies stealing lullabies.
Finding rage, addicted to ink, bleeding the page.

Composed March 4, 1991, Untitled

 

Sound the sign, hear the laughter

Play the game, break her rafter

Blindfold me, then stand near

Stain red, her blood tear

 Liquor shadow, true friend

Tower blind, don’t attend

Fall in love, see me cry

Rot alone, surely die

Chance hope, find heart

Die close, rip apart

Who I am, who I will be

Who will die, e’er love me

Tiptoe chains, grand possessor

Syrupy mind, great aggressor

Water swims along my bed

Filling holes inside my head

Leaking thoughts into you

Dreams alive, coming true

Everything slows, rusting with age

And softly and quietly I am enraged

Hope is lost, now you know

Risen sun, fallen shadow

 

Thoughts

Over twenty-five years later, reflecting on the pains and fears of this fifteen year-old girl and find she sometimes fights the same demons.  

Dying to self.  The ticket?   

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