Sudden Turn of Events, Unexpected, Tragic, Gone Too Soon… The letters forming words to cover pain and confusion at the bodies departure.
As an adult, this is the first person young person I’ve lost, 50’s, physically strong and with nothing but light emanating from him.
I stare at his picture and remember our conversations. He was a seeker, a giver, a gentleman who lived humbly from the depths of love’s essence.
It’s not written that way because he’s gone and I want to comfort myself with words of his virtues. No.
He had no career to speak of, save the one from twenty years prior, in the tech bubble, which left him in a position to live a life of leisure, though really, he lived his life loving others in quiet ways. I think about the way he talked to me and what we discussed; musings on science, mysticism and loving others; his childlike energy residing in an athletic fifty year old body and I wonder if on some level he knew and if that was why he lived as he did. In truth though, we all know this is a only a temporary sojourn. I am simply sad, my heart unprepared to embrace yet another goodbye.
I’m used to holding frail hands, covered with thin skin, withered by sun and age, deformed with arthritis. I’m used to touching frail bodies, held in painful frozen contortions and seeing the outline of skeleton subtly covered by flesh. I’m used to staring into sunken eyes of pain, regret and disappointment, eyes emptied of all tears for the lack of water. I’m used to their shallow and strained breathing as they lie asleep, awaiting the boat to their next journey. I’m used to waving them off from shore by whispering in their ear that they are surrounded by love.
It’s why we exist. To dignify the life of others, and ours.
Death and love are the two wings that bear the good man to heaven.